So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
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Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
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He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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