How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The uberlube is also flammable
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
