East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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