Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Found the puke drawer
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
