How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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