I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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