that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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