he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
