So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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