it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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