She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
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On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
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So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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