How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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