the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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