Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
