I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
