Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
