.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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