I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
