she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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