the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
