Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
