I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
