Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i've created a new STD.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
