i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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