drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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