think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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