I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I believe in your delicious
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
