I skipped work to stalk him.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
