Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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