Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my sisters under your porch take her home
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
