hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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