You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
