someone get that fucking seahorse.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
