the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
