i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Randomize