Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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