there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
