no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
