My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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