I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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