I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You are the jesus of drinking
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize