i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Found the puke drawer
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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