You don't have asthma, your pregnant
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
