Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.