Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go