all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.