it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
