Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize