singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
