i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
