Yo dont text me then not text me
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
