Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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