i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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