no, he came in my armpit
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
