I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
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We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
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Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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